Whaleherdienda Chronicle: February 2021

February 2, 2021

Happy Groundhog Day!

2020 was a great year to be a groundhog! In fact, in tribute to our newsletter mascot, we have taken to

the quintessential lifestyle of the typical groundhog family. With almost 12 months of hibernation

hangin' over our belts, we’ve mastered ordering groceries online and watching Netflix until our eyes bleed.

At least when I shave, I look less like a groundhog, which isn't the case for Tom.

What we’ve learned in 2020:

There’s a lot of bad TV available to stream--and we’ve become dumberer by watching it.
Don’t cook broccoli in the instant pot
Despite what youtube videos say, it is not easy to cut your own hair
It's hard to get a bad hair cut fixed during a pandemic
Update to the Roman's philosophy: replace “Bread and Circuses” with “Chips and Netflix”
“I just need some time to get that finished”, well, I must have needed more than just time.

Bright Side of 2020:

Think of all the money we’ve saved on personal hygiene.

Post-Pandemic Concerns:

It’s so much easier to put on a mask than make-up.

State of Fate in 2020:

Daris is now Faculty-in-Residence at Texas State, which means we get to live in a college dorm during

the pandemic. Our lives basically resemble the “At Home with Baker Mayfield” commercials where he

resides in Cleveland stadium. There are at least 18 different toilets to which Tom can be exiled. Our

actual apartment has all the furnishings from our former RV. We call it “Hobo-chic”.

Sam is still madly in love with Roxy, his ruby Macaw. They spend their days together mocking the poor

professors hosting Sam's online community college courses. Between zoom sessions, they take a break

to practice rock guitar at full volume.

Daryl is making her own way in the world in Utah, as a deferred student at the University. Having to provide for herself is a new challenge which she is embracing by experimenting with different money earning opportunities. As many of you may have unfortunately discovered, she is selling Cutco knives. Tom and I were her inaugural presentation. In an effort to help her prepare for future presentations we asked helpful questions such as “Do you have any knives that can slash tires?” and “Which knives are best for skinning squirrels?” She didn’t seem to appreciate our efforts.

Tom and I have met the restlessness from the pandemic by daydreaming about having different occupations in different countries. Dream du jour usually focuses around the topic of whatever show we happen to be bingeing. In the last year, we’ve fantasized about a bungalow in the UK, a villa in Colombia, and a chateau in France. Next on our list is the Martian series "The Expanse". Real estate on Mars is quite affordable at only $29.95/acre. Just think, the opportunities are endless! If you want to be our neighbor, you can purchase land at www.buymars.com.

Despite several exciting job interviews, Nathan got caught out in the cold during the pandemic hiring freeze for computer programmers. So he is here in the dorm with us. Finally, things are starting to look up with a few nibbles on the job front. Though we'll be happy for him when he gets a job, we'll be a bit lost without his kind presence.

Hilde is in the UK working on her master's degree. Jamilly just got a puppy. Sophia is happy with her

family in Arusha. Kaghondi is doing exceptionally well with his family in Minnesota!

Menagerie: Mooch, the cat, has (of course) moved in with Tammy and Casey. He knows where his kitty

bread is buttered. Guido, dog, is the dorm mascot. Luwise, the lil’ bird, is hangin’ with Tudder and

Pawpaw. Roxy, the big bird, is glued to Sammy.

Pandemic Enlightenment: Over the course of the pandemic I have learned about the journey of errant

socks on their metaphysical quest to transform from dirty to clean when they finally make their exit from our visual realm. Like all enlightenment, any attempt to explain this phenomenon could soil another's opportunity at transformation. You'll come to know when you are truly ready. Be happy for lost socks, as they are finally free of our smelly feet.

Owning an odd number of odd socks,

Daris

I don’t need time, I need a deadline. ~Duke Ellington

The young always have the same problem — how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have

now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another. ~Quentin Crisp

Newlyweds become oldyweds, and oldyweds are the reasons that families work. ~Author Unknown