WH Chronicle No. 1.05

Aug 23, 2010

Well, at T-minus 17 days, I’m once again having to  make the bed because our house is back on the market.  Our renters’ son broke his leg and was worried about the stairs.  But despite the two ground floors and wheel chair access, they requested that we seek new renters.   So back to keeping a clean house—which has been severely compounded by the suitcase guts splattered uniformly across our home.

Ahhh...leaving Bear Valley....where they get as much snow (average 170" of snow per year) as we do heat. 

The drive home provided us with more than just hemorrhoids.   First, we had to gas up...all I can say is,
“that poor Mrs. Ebbetts”

 (Thanks, Deb!)

Then on to Stockton, CA to stay with Ruth, Brian, Casey and Carolyn.  Sam has a thing for Carolyn’s elbow.  I wonder if sucking one's thumb provides the same desired effect as smoking a cigarette--post-elbow rub?  
Ruth carries her taxes around in a Duraflame box.   Now THAT is irony.

Lost Wages (Las Vegas) was the next stop on the list, at Sam’s request.  This city initiated multiple ‘moral discussions’ as the kids were enamored with billboards of naked women, drive-thru chapels (seriously) or grannies chugging booze and pulling slots.   Sam wanted his picture taken with the ‘ladys dressed in the feathers’.  Tom suggested that Sam could begin to 'upgrade'  his elbow fetish.  

While in Vegas, we cheaped out on a kennel-sized room at the Stratosphere, and rather spent our money visiting the Mandalay Bay Aquarium.  It was quite impressive.  We were offered the opportunity to purchase an ‘aquarium family photo package’ that cost more than our motel-crate, but decided to instead illustrate the event.  This was a group effort, and partial re-enactment. 

Next was the drive across the desert—where the blazing temperature licks fan belts like gummi worms. 
112 was the highest it registered for us, that was about the time we drove past a coasting suburban.   The coolth of Carlsbad Caverns was welcomed. 

"I thought happiness was Lubbock, Texas in my rear view mirror." But rather it was the highlight.     Jerry and Susanna’s next door neighbor splurged on a firework show that  would make Epcot envious.  Pre-pyrotechnics entertainment was provided by Jerry's thigh-slappin’, bluegrass band,  “The Other Brothers”.    Daryl and Sam buried themselves in Meg’s old Barbies and  Playstation games for the duration of the stay except when they stepped out to mingle.    I love it when they say, “the locals are colorful”.  This appeared to be true--even  through a rear view mirror. 


  • ·         Rooster hasn’t lost any weight at the fat farm, but loves the 24/7 access to kitty toys and road trips.
  • ·         Chucky has quit hiding under the workbench and now meows incessantly at anyone walking by.
  • ·         Big Red resembles a Ninja chicken when offered fresh produce.  In her excitement, she’ll run, roll, leap, and flog anyone within 10 paces that could be carrying a tasty morsel.  You might even hear a tiny, 'hiiii-yah'.  
  • ·         Haven’t heard an update from Col. Mustard.  I hope he’s still upside down.   
  • ·         Jamillie skyped me and moaned the song of teenage boredom.  As she prepares for school and resumes her old life, she said it all seemed like a distant dream.  
  • Google Eyes (the rat) passed away.  Turns out that he was 208 in rat years. Heather and Chris have spent only half of that time in mourning.  

“Cross the river in a crowd and the crocodile won’t eat  you.”  African Proverb unheeded by the owner of the flip-flop and thigh bone found in Jerry’s crocodile.

"In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number."  ~Steven Wright

"Las Vegas is Everyman's cut-rate Babylon.  Not far away there is, or was, a roadside lunch counter and over it a sign proclaiming in three words that a Roman emperor's orgy is now a democratic institution.  "Topless Pizza Lunch.""  ~Alistair Cooke

"Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television’s message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparision with the need for a toothpaste that offer whiter teeth and fresher breath.”   Dave Barry

Passing the Beano to all Ebbetts,

PS. Click on the pictures below to see our new releases:


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